About
This blog is an attempt to share some of the experiences, learnings, and explorations we have with our son A-. A- is an autistic toddler, and a multi modal communicator (limited mouth words). We started him on a digital AAC device, Speak for Yourself, before he turned 2 years old. He's also a gestalt processor and a VERY musical child.
We are still learning from him how best to communicate with him in ways that he understands - and in the meantime we get really creative with modifying our environment!
As a family, we believe in moving at the speed of trust. We don't mind "slower progress" if that's what it takes to ensure a safe and trusting foundation. We approach parenting with open curiosity and trust that A- knows how he needs to learn best. I'm offering the stories on this blog, because the blogs of other families with similar kids has helped me feel less alone, and also given us some great tidbits of how to work with a multi-modal communicator like A-!
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The story behind “The North Star and the Compass”
Hey, my little evening star How bright you are Anywhere you go You’re not alone Rocks and bugs and angel wings Every little shiny thing Anywhere you go You’re not alone You’re the North Star and the compass Always finding something wondrous Anywhere you go You’re not alone Wish that I could keep you from Sorrow and harm None of us is here for long But you’re not alone In the cradle of the circle All the ones who came before you Their strength is yours now You’re not alone Sparrows in the morning Crows at dusk Singing with your Daddy We have love De l’Afrique à l’Acadie De l’Europe aux Amériques La musique nous réunis Une Famille La musique nous réunis De la Louisiane à Sans Souci Tigallum Tigalli on arrive Une Famille
-You're Not Alone by Our Native Daughters
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When A- was a tiny bundle, I already knew our role went beyond being his parents. A- was a perfect Black baby, and neither me nor my partner are Black. I already knew there was a huge part of him that we could never give to him. Our job was to give him the passion and confidence to love his Blackness, protect him from those who did not see his worthiness and glory, and point him towards community. A big part of our job was to step back and let him discover, in whatever way he needs to, what his Blackness means to him.
Since we could never know his destination, or even how he'd get there, we had to trust that he was both his own North Star, and he was our compass.
The Our Native Daughter's album has always been in A-'s music rotation. The album came out of research they did on historical accounts of slavery, within and outside of their family - stories that were passed down from generation to generation. The song "You’re Not Alone" was written by Allison Russell to her daughter. It's her personal reflection on rising above the abuse she suffered by her White adoptive dad, and the healing she found by connecting to her ancestors and realizing they were always with her.
Discovering A- is autistic, neurodivergent, disabled, and unique on his path means he truly is the north star and the compass.
We know we need to raise him to be confident and proud of who he is. We know we need to protect him from those who don't see his worthiness and his glory. We know we need to point him to his community, his Black disabled ancestors, and then step back and let him discover what his identity means to him. We know, and we see every day, that we don't need to have the answers because he is both the North Star and the Compass.
