Call for Submissions!
Loving them freely
“There’s magic in being seen by people who understand — it gives you permission to keep going.” - alok vaid-menon
Loving Them Freely is an essay collection that aims to allow caregivers of autistic kids who have higher support needs to see, through example, that there are many, many families who are learning, loving, and supporting kids exactly as they are. To let them know that even if they choose a path less trodden, it is not a path they are trodding alone.
This upcoming online publication, hosted by RaisingFreeAutisticPeople.com, aims to support a movement that ensures that all autistic kids benefit from affirming families and communities. Even those with high support needs.
We're looking for submissions from caregivers to connect and inspire others. No need to have answers, just authenticity.
Deadline: June 30, 2025
Ideal length: ~1000 words (max 2000)
A parent recently wrote an OpEd in the NYTimes about how they, a liberal, "left-of-center" mom, appreciated that RFK Jr. was finally telling the truth about kids like hers.
It reminded me of how one time, on my personal FB page, I wrote about the Reality TV Show "Later Daters", and how there was a dating-dad with an adult son who was non-speaking. The show handled it so well and respectfully, until the point that they included the dad saying the reason him and his ex-wife got a divorce was because of their disabled son. I posted about that forehead slapping moment - the moment in which someone blames their child, publicly and in front of their child, for ending their relationship. Not systems, not the lack of support, but the child themselves. And then people I know - people who would probably consider themselves politically radical - defended this moment saying that those stories, and those realities, about how hard life is due to your disabled child, have to be told.
I'm confused about the people who seem to think these versions of stories - the ones in which caregivers poor, sad lives get destroyed by kids with disabilities - are NOT told?? Those are the only stories I hear time and time again. Within the span of a year, there were about 3 reality TV shows in which these “disabled people ruin things” stories came up, and only one where a parent was like "my kid is non-speaking and autistic and she's cool”. And for the last one, it was a blip in the show and then the person’s parenting life was basically never mentioned again.
These examples are why those of us with kids like A-, who have the lens to see the system as the problem, have been saying that the RFK Jr. rhetoric isn’t a shock at all. He’s just saying it as someone with immense power, but people say this stuff all the time. Whether directly, or indirectly. Intentionally or not. Well meaning or not. Yes - even liberal, progressive friends. Yes - even, definitely, me more than 3 years ago.
It's these experiences that have inspired this essay collection. Let's start flooding the world with the other stories. The ones that actually aren't told as much, but are just as real.
I am totally going to submit something! I agree, I love all three of my autistic kids, they are easy to love and be around. The only thing that has made life hard has been the lack of support and accessibility.
To all the caregivers out there, life’s up and downs that we hang on going “through” and growing, learning of ourself thus of others as one the same, than life throws you something new that you think is impossible yet you commit, it was my mom, 89 years old dementia, family asked that I take her in, me new with one leg crushed by a semi and fully alert through it all all 3 sets of tires rolling over m legs, cracked my hip so close, living alone taking care of 4bdm home and 4 animals now 5 working full-time. It’s now been two years. She’ll celebrate her 91st birthday next Wednesday still going forward yet the memory is just not there, passes after each sentences, after each coma, 24/7 no breaks no vacation, my son stepped forward to work remote at my home so I can get in the office three days of the week and helped manage her medical. The emotional and physical breakdowns were deep harsh debilitating, my son helped. As we go through this and learn more of this circle of life, our own circles in the mirroring of ourselves through all as we try to inch forward our hearts do grow, my heart grew when I didn’t even know it was, time being like breaking through layers of a shell culture rapped me in. So many times that I regretted how I felt what I said how I might’ve reacted yet seeds nourished, blooming more as i stayed centered to “now” never expecting myself to be totally embracing life so far more abundantly. The word “enough” was gifted to me by my son a few years ago, for my own 24/7 trauma unable to move like i had for 62 years as an elite hiker and athlete, habits are hard to change. I would never wish my journey on anyone else knowing how hard it was for me to “feel” life still. With everyone’s journey being dynamically different and unique. I guess our purpose is to be a loving sharing people, in total Faith and trust that we are and have enough to get through, I now surrendering to everything life unfolds before me, meant to heal me, to heal ”us”.